My Diary – July 2007

Friday 27th July 2007

On Friday my physiotherapist held a coffee morning at her house for The Silver Lining Appeal. There were different stalls including a raffle, tombola and craft stalls. It was supposed to be in the garden, but the weather was rubbish. Typically the sun came out once it had finished. The day raised £296.10. Thank you, Julie, for organising it.

That night I went to Demelza for a pizza and DVD night. We watched Wedding Crashers, but yet again I don’t have a clue what it was about really. I really should pay more attention. I was focusing more on what time the pizza was coming! I was good and didn’t get any on my brand new white t-shirt. I can’t say the same about an hour later with the double chocolate gateaux though. The two don’t mix well!

My auntie’s dog was found that night (36 hours after going missing) stuck four foot down a rabbit hole! Their friend put a tracker collar on his dog who then found her stuck down the hole. They had to dig and pull her out, because the soil had started falling on her. She’s ok, but a bit confused and dazed.

On Saturday I went to a BBQ at Linda’s. Lesley, Stephen and the kids went home the next day, so it was our last night together.

I went to hydro on Monday. I’m walking much more confidently, but I still feel a bit panicky in water.

I got the front cover of my book when I got home! I’m really pleased with it, and only Mum, Lee and Evelyn have seen it so far. I’m not saying anything, apart from that it’s very me!

The gym was cancelled on Tuesday, so Nikki and I went to Tesco instead and bought lots of junk food. We then sat in the garden eating pizza and drinking Smirnoff Ice. The sun was, surprisingly, out so it was really nice. Daizy was a bit confused because I haven’t been in the garden for a year, and she kept jumping on me. I bought some new make-up too while we were in Tesco, so we tried that out.

I had a lovely day on Wednesday. I went to the spa at Eastwell Manor with Demelza. There were four of us, plus five carers. We arrived there at about 9.30am, and had tea and croissants. We were booked in at different times to have our treatments. My first one was at 11.30am, so I went in the swimming pool while I waited. I hadn’t actually planned to go in swimming, but sat at the edge with my legs in the water. I then decided just to get in. It was good because it was a much bigger pool than the hydro pool, and I spent about half an hour in there. I hadn’t actually realised before I got in, that they didn’t have a hoist chair to get me out, so I had to use the stairs which I’ve never done before! The first few steps were fine, but as I was getting higher out of the water, my body was getting heavier. I can lift my legs, but can’t pull my feet backwards while they’re in water, so my feet dragged up each step. My foot was bleeding by the time I got to the top, but it didn’t matter too much because I had managed eight steps! I put on my dressing gown which we had all been given when we arrived, along with a pair of slippers, and went for my first treatment which was a peel. It was an all over body scrub that gets rid of dead skin, helps with circulation and makes your skin smooth. I had to have a shower afterwards to wash all the gritty bits off. Lynsey, the social worker from Demelza who was in the room with me, said, “Your fake toenail has just come off.” For a minute I thought she meant it was floating in the pool downstairs, but I’d love to have seen her face when I told her I wasn’t wearing fake nails! My whole big toenail had come off, complete with pink nail varnish and diamantes! Being as gross as I am, I put it in my handbag to bring home to show Mum! It didn’t actually hurt that much. My toenails had been damaged by chemo, so it’s probably a good thing it’s come off. After that we went for lunch, which was, surprise surprise… chips. They were really nice though, and we had fancy sandwiches too. It felt quite weird being in a restaurant in my dressing gown, but everyone was like that. My back was quite sore, so while everyone else went to the Jacuzzi – I thought it was best to avoid the pool area again – I went to the lounge and lay across a big comfy sofa, drank tea and had Heat magazine read to me! I really could get used to that kind of life. I stayed there for the next three hours before my final treatment. Just before I went for my facial, I slid from where I was into my chair, but it moved and I fell on the floor! I think I twisted my knee a bit getting back up. My legs weren’t having a good day, but I was! I had some lovely Belgian chocolate ice cream after that, because I was shaking a bit, and ice cream always makes me feel better! My facial was lovely. I had a really nice girl doing it, and we chatted a lot about celebrities. While I had a face mask on, she painted my nails hot pink and put some diamantes on them. We left Eastwell Manor at 6.15pm, and I had a great day. It was Lynsey’s last day at Demelza last week, and this was her final outing with us. Her lasting memory of me is my toenail!

On Thursday I bought lots of nail stuff off the internet. I love nail art, but had run out of a lot of things, so I’ve stocked up again now. Nikki introduced me to nail art over three years ago, and I’ve been into it since. She does really nice nails, so we bought lots of foils, diamantes, glitters, stickers etc. I can’t wait for them to arrive now. It’s fun buying stuff off the internet. I must stop now, before I get addicted!

I’ve been getting a lot of spam in my guest book lately, but don’t let that put you off signing. I can easily delete the spam around your messages. Sorry if anyone’s offended by the spam, some of it is a bit dodgy!

Love Nicole xxx

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Friday 20th July 2007

I went to Evelyn’s party on Saturday. It was a joint party to celebrate her 60th birthday, her husband’s 65th birthday, their silver wedding anniversary and their son’s 21st birthday and graduation. These have all happened in the last five months. We had a nice meal and I was on a table with friends of Evelyn that I already know.

I went to hydro on Monday. I’m getting used to being in the water again and I’m getting a bit more confident walking now. My physiotherapist said I have definitely improved since my chemo has finished.

Tuesday at the gym was quite fun. I forgot to take my splints to wear on my legs. They’re hard plastic from my knees to my toes, and have straps across the front to keep them on. They help support my ankles, but are a bit uncomfortable. I felt quite wobbly walking without them. I couldn’t cycle on the exercise bike because it hurt my leg too much. I spent a lot of time on the bed doing exercises. I then tried a new trick which was bouncing on an exercise ball. I sat on it and just bounced - very random, but fun. After that I came home and Nikki buffed and filed my nails. She had a Body Shop party last week and I ordered a load of stuff, including some nail things. I got a brilliant one that files, buffs and polishes your nails. They’re super smooth now.

I went to Demelza on Wednesday to show Frances Lawrence round the house, so she could finally see TIZ. We won a Phillip Lawrence Award for TIZ in 2005. Frances is the widow of Phillip. We went to TIZ first and a photographer from the Gazette was there, along with the Lord Mayor of Sittingbourne. He was really nice and let me feel his chain. I’ve met three Lord Mayors and felt them all! Well, their chains anyway, and they’re worth different amounts, but all quite a lot! After that we went round the house and I explained about the rooms and then we went in the garden. The weather was so nice and we walked through the sensory garden with all the smelly plants, and said hello to the goats and sheep.

We had lunch in TIZ and Sam the chef made one of his legendary chocolate cakes. They’re lovely, and I’m gutted because I’ve just found out that he’s leaving. I brought some cake home with me. I have to get as much of it as I can while I still can!

We went to Linda’s that night for a Chinese. My Auntie and Uncle, Lesley and Stephen, and my little cousins, Lisa and Greg, are down from Scotland and go home this weekend, so we had a family meal.

I saw Doctor Martin for a check up yesterday morning. As usual I had a list of problems for him. After that I went to school for a review, then came home. Nikki was here for a couple of hours. We did some pampering and then went through my ‘Post Pals’ stuff. I have a box full of cards and letters that people have sent me from around the world. If you have a spare five minutes this weekend then visit www.postpals.co.uk and please write to a child. It’s really simple, and you’ll make them smile.

My auntie’s dog has gone missing. She (the dog) lives in a rural area and has a habit of going down rabbit holes, only this time she hasn’t come back yet. She’s been missing since early Thursday morning. We’re hoping she comes home soon, but if anyone sees a small, all brown, Jack Russell-size dog, friendly, with a cute face, then please get in contact. She’s Molly’s sister and they’re seven in a fortnight.

Love Nicole xxx

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Friday 13th July 2007

Evelyn was here from 10am to 6.30pm on Friday. It was the same on Saturday and Sunday. We have been reading through my book and updating/changing bits. Evelyn reads it from the laptop screen and changes it, Mum reads her printed off copy and I listen to it being read out. We all spot different things, so we work well as a team. I have several tea breaks because it can get quite stressful. It’s been quite fun as well though, reading through it again.

My deadline for my book was Monday, and I emailed it to my publisher at 11.57pm, so I just made it! It’s a great relief to get it sent off.

I went back to the gym on Tuesday. I haven’t been for a while because I’ve been so busy. It was good to be back. I walked in the parallel bars, cycled on the bike and did exercises on the bed. Then I said I wanted to take up boxing to strengthen my arms, and to also get my frustration out. There isn’t a punch bag at the gym, so my physio Julie held one of those big exercise balls, and I punched that. I was just punching it normally, and then Nikki told me to imagine it was someone I didn’t like. I knew the perfect person, so then went mad. My knuckles were red afterwards and stung, but it felt great! I then started kicking it, because I want to do kickboxing too, but that didn’t quite work! It was good exercise though. I left early because I started to get a headache. I thought it was just because I hadn’t been for a while, and I’d done too much. I was nearly sick in Nikki’s car on the way home. We had to stop at the side of the road and open the door just in case! I had a bag prepared as well. I managed to get into the house before I was finally sick. I knew immediately that I had another infection. I’m now back on antibiotics.

I finally had my hearing test on Wednesday. When we were in the room I heard a high pitched noise. For a second I thought it was the test, then I realised it was the fire alarm! We had to go outside for 10 minutes. I’m totally jinxed. It was only three weeks ago that the fire alarm went off at the Try-Angle Awards. For the test I had to put headphones on, and different pitched sounds were made in each ear. I had to press a button when I heard a noise. The right ear has a tiny loss, but I have a severe hearing loss in my left ear. I can’t hear things in certain high, medium and low pitches. It makes conversations really difficult. After having the test, I saw a specialist. He looked at my nose and throat to check there wasn’t anything wrong with them too. He then suctioned my ears. It was horrible! He described things because he knew I was blind, and his description for what he was going to put in my ear was… “like a needle!” Possibly the worst thing you could ever say! I felt myself get a bit panicky then. He then tried to make me feel it but I didn’t want to. It felt quite tickly having the suction done. My hearing was a bit better afterwards, but not a lot. I need to have an MRI scan to get a closer look at my ear. I thought I was getting a break from scans until December! I need to have a cannula put in for it, so I’m psyching myself up for that.

Nikki came here on Thursday. We had a bit of a pamper day. I had my feet massaged and my toe nails painted. They’re now hot pink with diamantes. Then I had a hand massage and my nails buffed and filed (eww). After that I put a face mask on, which started to burn my face, so I had to take it off. Finally I had my eyebrows waxed. I made some cards after that. I’m quite an arty person, and love making things. Nikki and I have planned what we want to do together. It involves a lot of pampering, shopping, eating, drinking and yoga(!!!). Yoga’s something I’ve wanted to do for ages. I don’t know how good I’ll be though.

Happy 21st birthday to Alex for today (Friday).

As always… please sign the guest book!

Love Nicole xxx

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Friday 6th July 2007

On Friday I went out to lunch with the girls. We went to the Barn in Chestfield. I haven’t seen them for ages because we’ve been really busy and doing exams. It was good to catch up.

On Saturday I went to the ‘pink prom’, a concert given by the Folkestone and Hythe Orchestral Society. My auntie and uncle from Scotland, Lesley and Stephen, came with us. They came down the day before with my cousins for a holiday. The night had been organised by Deni, the concert manager, and all the orchestra wore black and white, with a touch of pink. There were pink ties, dickie bows, hankies, ribbons, etc. There were pink and black balloons, pink union jacks, bunting, pink buckets to collect the money in and more. I made a speech in the interval. I thought it went better than usual. I remembered to breathe between sentences! At the part where I said I had so far raised £10,000 everyone clapped, while I sat there like a lemon. I wanted to just say my speech and go back to my seat, and wasn’t expecting people to clap half way through. The night raised £1,000. Thank you so much, Deni, and everyone who helped. Also a big thank you to David for driving us there in such bad weather.

On Monday Evelyn was supposed to come over to help me with the book, but I woke up with a sore throat and the start of a cold, so cancelled. When I’m in an ‘ill mood’, I’m best to be on my own! I did work on my book though. My deadline to send it back to my publisher is the 9th. I think I’ll make it.

On Tuesday Evelyn came over. We worked on my book for most of the day.

On Wednesday I went to King’s College to do some filming for a DVD to help raise money for the hospital. Thomas Cook have pledged to raise £2 million and their staff have already raised just over £1 million. We were making a DVD to give to all their staff to encourage them to raise the rest. Mum and I spoke about our experience at King’s and how important new equipment is. There were three cameramen, a lady from Thomas Cook, two people from The Silver Lining Appeal and a lady from the Children’s Variety Club. My surgeon, Chris Chandler, popped in to see me. He’s an absolute legend and I love seeing him. Filming lasted just over an hour. I think I did ok, and hopefully it will encourage people to fundraise. After that we went to the new ward, which is still a building site at the moment. We were allowed to see the neuro-rehabilatation room, which was quite exciting.

I then saw my ex-paediatrician, Dr McCormick, and we talked about the name of the room, etc. I have an idea of a name, but it’s not decided yet. I now have £11,500 of my £30,000 target. I’d like to reach £15,000 by December, because that will be half my target.

Thank you to Simondo for driving us there! You have to be the most entertaining driver we’ve ever had!

Evelyn was here again on Thursday afternoon helping with my book. I appreciate her help so much, and for being so patient with me! I’m not the easiest of people to work with! It’s been really strange reading the book again. I found it funny in places, and Mum found it quite emotional. I think I’ll have to give tissues to certain people before they read it.

On to some sad news now. Post Pals lost another one of its ‘pals’, Megan R, last week. There is a link to her website on my links page. If anyone reading this has time, please visit the Post Pals website (it’s the first link on my links page), and write to a child. You have no idea how much just one letter can cheer a child up after a rubbish day. Thanks.

I’ve reached visitor 20,000! They didn’t sign the guest book, which I’m slightly annoyed about, but it can’t be helped!

Next week I finally have my hearing test, so hopefully we can get my hearing loss problem fixed. The ear drops didn’t work, so I might need something more drastic done to help. People keep asking me if my hearing is any better, and I keep replying, “What?”, but I’m not being funny, I genuinely didn’t hear what they said!

Please sign the guest book.

Love Nicole xxx